How to Build your Resilience to Help you Up When you’re Feeling Down
First published October 2017
What do you do on those days that are just a bit hard? Those days where you just feel a bit off kilter.
It could be that a deadline you’re trying to meet is not going according to plan. Or you don’t close that sale that you thought was a given. You may be struggling with a difficult relationship with a boss or a colleague.
Sometimes, it can just be a case of overwhelm (read more). With so much to do, it seems like everything should be a priority. So you’re just stuck and feel paralysed to move forward.
It’s on those days that vulnerability can kick in and anxiety can soon follow. Limiting beliefs and negative self-talk raise their ugly heads and self-doubt can result in paralysis, demotivation and just feeling like the energy is sucked out of you.
So how do you pull through those days? If you feel like you’re walking on a tightrope and are wobbling, know that it’s up to you to take control, regroup, find your equilibrium and straighten yourself up to keep moving forward. The other option is falling.
Easier said than done you might say!
But let me tell me you that by bringing your conscious awareness to how you react when things are tough, it’s possible to build your emotional resilience. Understanding how you regain your balance when you wobble means the next time you have a hard day or find yourself wobbling, it’ll become just a little bit easier to straighten yourself up.
Here are three critical, yet simple strategies to practice if you want to actively build your emotional resilience and bounce back that little bit faster the next time you’re having a bad day:
1. Look straight ahead.
Keep an eye on the goal. Sometimes it’s not enough to keep your head down and get on with it. Keep a firm eye on what you working towards and what you need to do to get there. Clarity and focus are what will keep you moving forward. If you’re missing the clarity and focus, it’s important to take some time out to clarify what your real objectives are so that it all makes sense on those off days.
2. Focus on your strengths.
What has helped to get you where you are? So often, we focus on how we can improve, what we are doing wrong. Performance management processes and conversations can often put too much emphasis on developmental needs and not enough on recognising achievements and strengths. And so that is the behaviour that we learn throughout our careers.
A core part of building resilience is knowing your strengths. Really know what you are good at. This is not just about your skills but how you engage with people, how you get things done. Once you fundamentally know and accept your strengths and make them a part of you, they become part of your personal brand (read more), and one of your key tools to pull you up when you’re having a hard day or a hard conversation.
3. This moment too shall pass.
Know that you can and will get to the other side. Think about similarly challenging moments in your past. Can you remember how you got through them? Even remembering that you did get through them can be enough. Just like when a child is going through teething or a challenging behaviour phase, we remind ourselves ‘it’s just a phase’. We’ll get through. Remind yourself that this challenge is a temporary state of affairs and you have the resources and capabilities to get through it.
And most importantly, take the time to stop, reflect, re-focus and re-energise as this is what’s going to help you to set yourself up to succeed. Why not contact me to find out more about our group and 1:1 coaching and mentoring programmes.
Helping you to find your mojo.
XXX Clearbird